You might be Southern Baptist if …

You understand that ‘dinner on the grounds’ doesn’t mean actually eating off the ground.

You know to bring food for every occasion.

Birth of a baby is worth a couple of casseroles.

A death in the family is worth a complete meal.

Revival offerings are taken up in Kentucky Fried Chicken buckets.

No one knows the words to the third verse in the hymnal.

Your church has a “committee on committees”.

VBS has a larger budget than the pastor.

Fellowship means to eat together.

You know what ‘sword drills’ means.

You use ‘Roberts Rules of Order’ for business meetings.

You know the pledge to the Christian Flag.

You understand the term ‘right hand of Christian fellowship’.

The most important part of teaching Sunday School is planning the snacks.

No one can agree about when to make announcements.

No one likes it when you don’t have an order of worship.

Your church keeps Krispy Kreme in business.

There are more church members in the Mexican restaurant after church than were in the service.

Everyone vies for the position “Minister of the Thermostat”.


2 thoughts on “You might be Southern Baptist if …

  1. We live in a small town and the only Fried Chicken is Jack’s and it is rather greasy.

    We’ve been so often to the Mexican restaurant that they bring out our drinks as we sit down. They also know our children so even if they are sitting at a different table they put the orders on the right ticket.

    We also warn them if we have supper at church on Sunday nights so they know not to prepare as much. 🙂

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