Why Do We Focus on the Exceptions?

What does it say about us when we focus more on the exceptions than on Biblical principles?

We in America always think we are the exception to the rule. Our public schools aren’t as bad as everyone else’s. Our children are doing better than others, they are not suffering from daycare. Our families are not suffering from the wife working outside the home. No one ever understands how hard we have things, etc.

~ If you were to ever contend, that the Biblical ideal is for women to be “workers at home” (Titus 2:3-5) then of course someone will point out Deborah (Judges 4:4 and following) as an excuse for working outside the home.

Or maybe the husband that won’t work?

The disabled husband?

But never will they focus on the fact that the majority of working women are not working to put food on the table but for the luxuries of extra income.

How many marriages with both spouses working are living off of spam and macaroni and cheese meals?

How many dual income families have one car that is 15 plus years old and on its last wheel?

How many dual income families have so few clothes that they must wash by hand their clothes for the next day’s work?

Most dual working families are not poverty stricken in any way they are just not living up to the standard of living they desire.

Many working women spend more money on makeup and hair care products than the truly impoverished spend on food.

How many dual income families have four or five children per room?

~ If you point out that women are to be subject or submissive to our husbands (Colossians 3:18) then someone will question what about the husband that wants his wife to sin?

Just how many husbands require a wife to participate in sinful activities?

Just how many husbands really expect a wife to commit crimes, use drugs, etc.?

Is what you are deeming sin truly a sin according to Scripture?

Example: Many non-believing husbands may not want their wives to spend large portions of time at church. But how much time at church is demanded by the Lord? Is three services a week? Why might he complain about church attendance? Is it because meals aren’t prepared? Chores get behind? How might a husband’s needs be met while still allowing for “assembling with believers”? In Hebrews 10:25, notice there is no requirement as to how often. While regular gathering with other believers is important for a Christian the frequency is not specified.

What if your husband demands you must work?

This is a broad area that is worthy of fuller discussion but the general principles are first to determine why a husband requires a wife to work. If the husband is a believer then a wife has the Scripture and lots of resources available to appeal to the husband. Even if an unbeliever often they can be shown how it is actually cheaper for a wife to not work outside of the home. Taxes, car expenses, day care, clothing, and other fees will often eat up what little salary many women make. This doesn’t take into account the intangible and more vague costs of sick children due to daycare, takeout meals, expensive instant meals and using more outside services. Is the husband’s complaint related to the wife spending too much money? There is nothing wrong with a women working from the home if an income is what a husband expects.

~ If you point out that children should obey their parents then someone will question what if the child is a believer and the parents want them to sin?

Here in the USA there are very few instances where a Muslim child becomes a believer and is required to reject Jesus by the family. (Although with the increase in Muslim worshipers, this will increase here also.)

If a child is made by parents to do something sinful there is always the opportunity to involve another Christian believer for counsel or if illegal even the law.

The most important issues are these:

Does the possibility of an exception make it acceptable for us to ignore a Biblical principle?

Have you spent as much time in praying for God’s Wisdom, as in making excuses that your situation is the exception?


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