My Husband Wants Me to Work – Possibly Sinful Attitudes

3. My Husband Wants Me To Work

As I continue discussing I Can’t Be a “Keeper At Home” Because … this is the second part of My Husband Wants Me to Work.

What if your husband wants you to work because of blatant sin in his life?

Thankfully, I have known very few men who sinfully did not support their family but I have known a few.

Possibly sinful reasons that a husband might not support his family adequately.

1. The “lifetime student” husband.

You know the one that spends more time taking college classes and working on degrees than actually ever getting a job and doing anything that they’ve been taught. Sorta like those who take all the evangelism classes like EE, FAITH, etc. yet never actually go out and evangelize.

1 Timothy 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. ESV

Proverbs 14:23 In all toil there is profit, but mere talk tends only to poverty. ESV

2. The “hobbies take too much time” husband.

This is the husband that is more dedicated to his hobbies of fishing, hunting, or whatever than he is to work. Job advancement is limited when more dedication and devotion are given to outside pursuits. Has a hobby become an idol which is worshiped?

Exodus 20:2-3

2 “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.
3 “You shall have no other gods before me. ESV

3. The “can’t find a good enough job” husband.

This is the husband that is always “looking” for a job but can’t ever find one that fits his desires. He won’t take some jobs because they are beneath him.

Example: I know an engineer that has been looking for a job for around a year now. So far, he has found no engineering job but does he sit at home, waiting for the perfect job opportunity? No. He presently delivers newspapers and pizzas in order to support his family.

Is pride the issue?

Galatians 6:3 For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. ESV

2 Chronicles 15:7 But you, take courage! Do not let your hands be weak, for your work shall be rewarded.” ESV

Proverbs 14:23 In all toil there is profit, but mere talk tends only to poverty. ESV

4. The “expensive hobby” husband.

This is similar to number three but in this husband the cost of the hobbies eats away much of the family income. The mentality of “Well, I work hard, I need a break and this relaxes me…” Some hobbies are so expensive that if you actually wrote down every expense you would be shocked. The hunter with a state-of-the-art bow, scope rifle, tree stand, feeding station, hunting co-op, special clothes, shooting blind and I don’t know what else. Oh, yeah don’t forget the truck to haul everything and the ATV to get back into the woods.

How about the fisherman with the boat, depth finder, selection of rod and reels, and bait. They still need a truck and a trailer to haul the boat or better yet a lake house with a boathouse.

Women are just as bad as men at times with their hobbies so make sure your hobbies aren’t eating up the family finances. Then what about the kid’s hobbies? Since when did it become necessary to spend hundreds of dollars for a few minutes of a ball game? Backyard pickup games are more fun anyway and everyone gets to play instead of watching the others.

Luke 12:15 And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” ESV

5. The “my wife makes more than I do” husband who gives up.

There are many families I have known where the wife had a better education and thus made more money than her husband did. This can lead to so many problems. Often the wife becomes the head of the family and she dictates what the money is to be spent on. After all, it is mostly her money. This situation will cause so much stress that many marriages can’t hold up under it.

This is a tough one because the wife has much responsibility for this often with her attitude and demeanor. Do you look down on your husband for making less? Does your behavior over money affect your relationship? Is the “your money” and “my money” attitude affecting your marriage? Is making more than your husband a submission issue?

While finances might be tough the marriage just might improve when everyone is serving how the Lord would have them to. The Lord does bless those who obey Him.

Ephesians 5:23-24

23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. ESV

6. The “dreamer” husband that is constantly chasing after something else.

The husband that constantly has a new idea of how to start a business or make money. They will spend time and money developing an idea for a business but before it becomes productive they have another bright idea that they jump to. Now there is nothing wrong with dreaming. There is nothing wrong with failing at a dream either. But the problem comes when they are neglecting to support their family and incurring more and more debt for the latest dream.

The story of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32 sounds very similar to this type of husband. The one that runs off on the latest adventure and spends everything, only to awake and be dissatisfied again and again.

Proverbs 12:11 Whoever works his land will have plenty of bread, but he who follows worthless pursuits lacks sense. ESV

Proverbs 12:24 The hand of the diligent will rule, while the slothful will be put to forced labor. ESV

Proverbs 17:24 The discerning sets his face toward wisdom, but the eyes of a fool are on the ends of the earth. ESV

Proverbs 14:23 In all toil there is profit, but mere talk tends only to poverty. ESV

7. The “lazy” husband

This husband could be working but just sits in a dead end job content to put in his time. But often these husbands may not even work. Finding a job takes too much effort so they just idle away their time.

Proverbs 10:4-5

4 A slack hand causes poverty, but the hand of the diligent makes rich.
5 He who gathers in summer is a prudent son, but he who sleeps in harvest is a son who brings shame. ESV

8. The “government dole” husband.

These are the ones that really get my dander up. The household where the husband sits on government paychecks while honest working people are forced to pay large sums of taxes. Welfare, WIC and the biggy “disability” eat up everyone’s paychecks and force every working person to work more and harder to support others.

Before anyone gets mad, I do know what I’m talking about. There are many, many people collecting disability checks that are perfectly capable of working. They might not be able to do some jobs but all jobs are not out of the question. If they can’t stand in a factory line assembling parts, they could sit at a desk and answer the phone. There is work that can be done by all but the most severely disabled.

But there are many that collect disability that aren’t any more disabled than the average person. Once you can get a lawyer to get you on disability then “all your worries are over.” There are whole businesses that revolve around getting someone their disability.

There are valid reasons to receive government paychecks especially if you or your family actually did pay into the system but there are many who are sinfully stealing from other citizens.

Proverbs 10:9-10

9 Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out.10 Whoever winks the eye causes trouble, but a babbling fool will come to ruin. ESV

Ephesians 4:28 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. ESV

1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

11 and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you,
12 so that you may live properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one. ESV


What should be done when a Husband is blatantly sinning?

First of all it is much harder if your husband is not a believer because you then lose the appeal to what God desires and the backing of Scripture and the discipline of the church. But that doesn’t mean all hope is lost. You can always get your husband involved in a mentoring relationship with a believer whom he may respect. Someone who is willing to challenge your husband with a kind, compassionate spirit.

But if your husband is a believer then you can appeal to the Scriptures and to the church leaders. That is assuming you are in a church that takes serious its instruction to encourage believers.

1 Thessalonians 5:14 And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. ESV

Hard work is what is expected of fallen man.

Genesis 3:17-19

17 And to Adam he said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, ‘You shall not eat of it,’ cursed is the ground because of you; in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life;
18 thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you; and you shall eat the plants of the field.
19 By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” ESV

2 Thessalonians 3:10-12

10 For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat.
11 For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busybodies.
12 Now such persons we command and encourage in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work quietly and to earn their own living. ESV

But most importantly pray that the Lord will reveal the sinful attitude to your husband.

Examine your life and see if any of these attitudes are residing in your heart, also.

What other sinful attitudes are in your life that might cause your husband to desire for you to work?


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