This is a continuation of I Can’t Be a “Keeper At Home” Because …
3. My Husband Wants Me to Work
This is a very common response to a wife’s need to stay home to raise the children and care for her family. It isn’t very surprising either considering how children have been taught through the public school and through society.
Men and women have been indoctrinated into believing that “real” women have careers and jobs. No respect was given to women who stayed home and took care of their family.
Whom did you study in school?
• Queen Elizabeth I
• Florence Nightingale
• Marie Curie
• Amelia Earhart
• Rosa Parks
• Indira Gandhi
Did you study about any mothers and women who gave their life to care for their family and children?
The only one I remember is a short study on American travel out west in covered wagons. We read Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder from the set The Complete Little House on The Prairie. Now in this set of books Ma Ingalls stays home and tends her family and children while still working hard to survive life in the wild west.
But everyone was encouraged to pity Ma Ingalls because she seemed to have no say in where they lived, worked hard at home and never had anything except “new material to make a dress.” The general consensus was that aren’t we glad things aren’t like that now.
So the point is that most men today have been taught from an early age that women are to work in order to live fulfilling, productive lives. Very few men had mothers who were home each day with them. The few men that did have mothers who didn’t work often had a mother who was gone all day doing her “volunteer” activities and other things such that technically she wasn’t home either.
Very, very few of us grew up with mothers that were home because they felt that was their God given direction for their families. Caring for homes and children very rarely got the attention and devotion that a career would get.
So the first thing to prayerfully discuss is why your husband wants you to work.
Is it because:
That is just what he is used to?
His mother worked?
He does not feel he makes enough income?
Fear of losing his job?
Lack of trust in God’s providence?
Feels that a wife being home is a lazy job?
His mother did not work but she was out and about serving everyone but her family?
Has no appreciation for the work involved in running a home and caring for children?
Does not believe that the Lord gives any instructions in this matter?
Has he prayed about the issue himself?
The key is to communicate and share both of your concerns. Once you have a better understanding of your husband’s reasons you can begin to answer his concerns. There is plenty of information available to support the financial, relational and spiritual reasons for a wife and mother to have her family as her career.
Granted all of this will be much more difficult if you have a unbelieving husband but prayer and an understanding, kind demeanor will go far.
But it often takes time to remove our ingrained teaching from childhood. So many of us or even our parents were influenced by the society that taught us all that women should be doing it all:
I can bring home the bacon
Fry it up in a pan …