Too Much Responsibility?

Posted by: Berean Wife Children, Homeschool, Parenting
13
Feb

This was interesting to read.  Can homeschooling be too much responsibility for a parent?

I want to homeschool, but don’t want the responsibility.

Often I take a look in Google Analytics to see what brings people to Simple Homeschool. Many readers arrive after an online search, on the hunt for information about a certain topic. Common searches that bring readers here include simple homeschooling, homeschool encouragement blog, waldorf homeschooling, and making the first homeschool day special.

But my heart dropped a little when I read that a few people found this blog after typing in “want to homeschool, but don’t want the responsibility.”

Fear of responsibility on the homeschooling path isn’t uncommon. After all, so our thoughts tease, if we send the kids to school and things aren’t going well, there’s someone else to blame. But if we grasp this calling fully by the reins, we know in whose direction fingers will point if results aren’t in line with the norm.  Continue reading

Note that this isn’t written from the perspective of a believing parent. (Disclaimer: I don’t even know much about the website.)

But if a non-Christian family shouldn’t shy away from homeschooling for fear of the responsibility, doesn’t a Christian have even more responsibility for the children the Lord has given us?



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3 commenters so far

1.  Ma
February 14th, 2011 at 7:04 am

People often tell me that they wouldn’t have the patience to have their kids home all day.

I find it to be a great privilege to not have to pass them off to others. I LOVE them being home.

Responsibility? Well, that’s a scary word, indeed. But we can do all things through HIM!

[Reply]

Berean Wife Reply:

Ma,

You know if it takes too much patience to be home all day with your children that just proves that you have not taught your children to be obedient nor respectful. I often tell parents that if they can’t stay home all day with their own children what makes them think anyone else wants to be around their children? Children should be a pleasure not a curse to pass off on others. Now granted they take lots of work especially when young, but if by school age they aren’t being increasingly helpful around the home then you run the risk of having a child centered home and not a Christ centered home.

The Lord holds us responsible whether we accept the responsibility or not.

Berean Wife

[Reply]

Anna Reply:

This reply hit me so hard. My husband and I are considering homeschooling but I honestly struggle with my oldest. She is in Kindergarten and I must brace for her when she comes home. I struggle with her respecting me, and even desiring to be obedient and please me. I know things need to change, I just don’t even know where to begin. Everyone else says she is a well behaved child. Please pray for us as we seek to bring this child up as God wants us to.

[Reply]

Berean Wife Reply:

Anna,

First of all I would suggest praying to the Lord to reveal to you the problem areas in your relationship with your oldest. The Lord will reveal to you areas that need to be dealt with. You may find that suddenly in the middle of a problem you realize that we do this same scene often and it always turns out poorly. Maybe I’m reacting to the situation wrong.

Next I would learn to enjoy your child. I’m sure you do at times and you love her all the time. But if you dread having her come home then that reveals you really don’t truly enjoy her like you should. If you don’t enjoy her then she will often respond to you in a negative manner. Set aside time everyday to play with, read with and interact with your daughter so that she loves spending time with you. But by no means should you ever cater to her all day. Maybe set aside an hour after school to just enjoy her company and show her that you missed her during the day.

Granted there are some children that are harder to enjoy. Some seem to always be negative or do the opposite of what is expected. But you can find things that your child enjoys and use them to develop a better relationship.

During this time also work on discipline. Teach your daughter to obey, whether she wants to or not. Teach her instant obedience with no arguing. Make sure you aren’t making excuses for her behavior. Don’t say well she’s tired so it is hard for her to obey. Don’t say she doesn’t feel well so she may disobey. See you are teaching her to obey the Lord when you teach her to obey you. We can’t make excuses for our sins just because we are tired, hungry or we feel bad, neither should you make excuses for your daughter. Training doesn’t have to be constant discipline but it can be fun also, especially at that age. Play “moma says” with fun or silly commands, reward instant obedience, reward joyful obedience, don’t reward partial obedience.

If she is well behaved for others either they have lower expectations for behavior (this is often the case) or else your daughter has learned to not respect you and your instructions. All children will test parents and see what they can get away with. Obviously she has learned she can get away with things with you. It would also help if your husband does the same things, but if not, you can still have an obedient child that you enjoy. Even one that you miss and don’t want to have gone all day to school instead of one that you dread coming home.

Berean Wife

2.  JCB
February 14th, 2011 at 10:26 am

You’re right, our thoughts say “there is someone else to blame”(if we send them off) but aren’t we are responsible for what our children learn? No matter where it is? Of course, that may not be a valid point to a nonbeliever since they feel they answer to no one.

[Reply]

Berean Wife Reply:

JCB,

Personally, I’ve found it much easier to be in full control of what my children are learning. My oldest went to a Mother’s Day out for one year when he was three. I thought my volunteering at a Save-a-Life was worth the MDO. However, I was shocked at what work it took to correct behaviors and attitudes he learn in 4 hours a week! I decided never again.

Funny thing is if a child does something horrible in life – crime, murder, etc., who do people instantly question? The parents! The parents have obviously done something wrong to have such a horrible child. Yet the average parent hardly ever sees their child after they begin public school. Wonder why the schools aren’t blamed?

Berean Wife

[Reply]

3.  terry@breathinggrace
February 14th, 2011 at 11:18 am

Good point, BW. It would seem that believing parents wold be less likely to shy away from the challenge out of fear of the responsibility.

It would seem, but what is and what should be are often too different things.

[Reply]

Berean Wife Reply:

Terry,

The average believer tends to do the same thing in relation to the church. They pass their children along to the nursery, SS teachers and Youth leaders for their spiritual training. Wonder if that is often also out of fear for the responsibility? Then if their child rejects the faith then it couldn’t possibly be any reflection on the parents. :(

Berean Wife

[Reply]

terry@breathinggrace Reply:

True. Even though people in our church should be used to the fact that our kids sit with us, every now and again someone wonders why our kids aren’t in nursery, children’ church, or youth church.

But our kids sit fine during worship service.

[Reply]

Berean Wife Reply:

Terry,

Thankfully that isn’t an issue in our church. All the children are worshiping right along with the parents. All but the littlest are just fine during the services and we have long services.

I’m afraid I would be tempted to explain too much about why my children aren’t in the separate classes. But that doesn’t go over too well. :(

Berean Wife

 

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