Courtship is Like Potty Training …

First the disclaimers …

No, I don’t have anyone courting anyone.

No, I don’t have anyone interested in courting anyone.

No, I’m not trying to push my kids into courting.

No, I don’t have any experience with courting.

So yes this is all in theory.

Now hopefully that will limit the rumors. 😉

Had to get that out of the way for my kids sake.


Anyway back to the topic.  Spring has sprung around here and with it came some weddings and wedding showers plus a multitude of other things.  And kittens …  (Anyone want kittens?)  Thus we have had lots of opportunity to discuss the matter and watch how others have proceeded.  Some have been the typical public school and dating process while others have been the homeschooling and courting method.  Guess what? They are equally just as married when everything is said and done.  It is the process that is the interesting part and this has been part of our discussions.


Courting Is Like Potty Training

1)      Everyone has an opinion on how it should be done and many are eager to share their opinion.

2)      Sometimes everyone is ready except those who should be.

3)      May involve tears.

4)      May take lots of time or be rather quick.

5)      Many things sound great in theory but do not actually work in practice.

6)      There is no magic age.

7)      Patience is a virtue.

8)      Watch for cues of interest.

9)      Requires physical (fiscal) and emotional readiness.

10)   Although the parent maybe ready, the child may not be ready or maybe the child is ready and not the parent.  Sometimes everyone else but the parent and child are ready.

11)   May be messy.

12)   Pressure from others “Isn’t it about time … ?

13)   You can have read all the books but that doesn’t necessarily help in your particular case.

14)   Sometimes observing others makes things easier.

15)   In the end you often look back and think “Why was that a big deal, it wasn’t that bad?


But like I said everything is in theory until you’ve put it into practice. 😉


4 thoughts on “Courtship is Like Potty Training …

  1. I saw this title, BW, and had to laugh out loud!

    My husband and I did what we effectionately called “dourting”. Neither of us had parents that were closer enough emotionally and/or physically to provide Christian guidance. So while we made some mistakes, I can honestly look back and know that we did what was right for us.

    Love your disclaimers… and I am a cat-lover… no more for us, though!


    Berean Wife Reply:


    Great to hear from you!

    Wow, do I need to add “dourting” as a new category? I think there are many who find themselves in the same position you and your husband did. Glad ya’ll survived the process and like I said you are just as married as those who follow all the “rules”, whatever the “rules” are and whoever decides what the “rules” are.

    Hope my kids can live with the disclaimers. 😉

    Oh, well, I tried about the kittens.

    Berean Wife


  2. I always die a little inside when people mention courtship. I cannot imagine my mother being helpful in directly picking my spouse. I will say this, my mother has very strange rules for who I should not marry.
    1. No one from another race. (She’s genuinely worried about my future children being teased. And that I would be mistreated. And that I would be disowned by my grandfather)

    2. No pastors. Every woman in my family has had a relationship with either a seminary student or a pastor and it always ended badly. I don’t know why.

    3. No Jehovah’s Witnesses. ( This one I don’t even. XD It is so random. I don’t know many JW’s. Now if she had said Mormons…)


    Berean Wife Reply:


    There are granted some parents that have very poor criteria and reasons for what they do. Even so I would actually agree with your mother with the third one. No believer should ever be unequally yoked to an unbeliever.

    2 Corinthians 6:14 (ESV) Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

    1 Corinthians 7:39 (ESV) A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.

    But actually in courting the parent doesn’t typically pick the spouse. Those courting have much say in the matter but they also listen to wise counsel. Those who “fall in love” in the sense the world does have very little wisdom in making decisions. If your parents are not suitable to guide you (honestly many are not) then maybe you could seek out a mature respected believing couple who will counsel and guide you along the way with your relationships.

    Berean Wife


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.