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Kathleen Norris – Mother

Kathleen Norris – Mother 

“There’s something magnificent in a woman like your mother, who begins eight destinies instead of one … Responsibility, – that’s what other women say they are afraid of! But it seems to me there’s no responsibility like that of decreeing that young lives simply shall not be.  Why, what good is learning, or elegance of manner, or painfully acquired fineness of speech, and taste and point of view, if you are not going to distil it into growing plants, the only real hope we have in the world!”

 

Mother is an amazing book about a young lady who rejects the idea that a woman’s calling is in her home.  She leaves home to find fulfillment in a career and social life, but in the end, God brings her back and shows her what it really is to be a mother.

The review also includes a link to a free copy of the small book.

Review by Berean Daughter

Continue reading the review here.


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So Sad

I can’t express how sad this news article makes me. :(  I can guarantee that her children are hurt by her actions and her words; they just may not have told her so, yet.

The opposite of a ‘Tiger Mother': leaving your children behind

“I had this idea that motherhood was this really all-encompassing thing,” she explained on the Today Show, where she was talking about her new memoir, “Hiroshima in the Morning.” “I was afraid of being swallowed up by that.”

Ten years ago, when her sons were 5 and 3, Rizzuto received a fellowship to spend six months in Japan, researching a book about the survivors of Hiroshima. Four months in, when her children came to visit, she had an epiphany: She didn’t want to be a full-time mother anymore. When she returned to New York, she ended her 20-year marriage and chose not to be her kids’ custodial parent.


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Godly Womanhood – Peter Marshall

“Godly womanhood….the very phrase sounds strange in our ears. We never hear it now. We hear about every other type of women: beautiful women, smart women, sophisticated women, career women, talented women, divorced women. But so seldom do we hear of a godly women–or of a godly man either for that matter.

We believe women come nearer to fulfilling their God-given function in the home than anywhere else. It is a much nobler thing to be a good wife, than to be Miss America. It is a greater achievement to establish a Christian home than it is to produce a second-rate novel filled with filth. It is a far, far better thing in the realms of morals to be old-fashioned, than to be ultra modern.

The world has enough women who know how to be smart. It needs women who are willing to be simple. The world has enough women who know how to be brilliant. It needs some who will be brave. The world has enough women who are popular. It needs more who are pure.

We need woman, and men, too, who would rather be morally right than socially correct.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 U.S. Senate Chaplain Peter Marshall

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Feminism Is Evident In Attitudes

Money changes everything. If Mom earns more than Dad, who changes the diapers?

Last year, I made more money than my husband did. The difference wasn’t enormous — only 20% — but it was meaningful. At first, I felt pride — I had made a career of my writing life; I was helping to get my family back on our feet financially (after buying a house and car we’d been knocked around a bit) — but, over time, this morphed into a sense of thwarted power. When I cut my work days short for school pick up, or when I loped down the aisles of Target trying to find a pair of elusive “water shoes” or when I simply called the pediatrician, I would sometimes find myself thinking, Have I not bought my way out of this? How can I make a full-time salary and attend to its full-time pressures if so much of my day is stolen away by the responsibilities of parenting? …

When I read this article I was so sad to see the attitudes displayed by the women and in the discussion. I didn’t even bother reading the comments.  See if you think these attitudes are a problem.

I found words such as these when the women were talking about their higher income.

  • Meaningful.
  • Pride.
  • Thwarted power.
  • Have I not bought my way out of this?
  • … my day is stolen away by the responsibilities of parenting?
  • righteousness.
  • why do I have to do all this?’
  • the most hurtful thing I could say.”
  • increasingly become more powerful.
  • resent their husbands.
  • striving
  • start keeping track of (who does what)
  • disappointment
  • sense of entitlement
  • feel guilt
  • I’m the moneymaker
  • be on my top game at work
  • puts more pressure on me than on my husband
  • the pull of traditional motherhood in conflict with their being the primary earner
  • the re-submission of women
  • oppression
  • bean-counting
  • dead end road
  • giant pile of resentment

No wonder women are depressed! They are thinking wrong.

Colossians 3:12-13
12  Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,
13  bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
ESV

Philippians 2:3 Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. ESV

Just as in Genesis they are striving to lead their husbands.

Genesis 3:16 Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” ESV

An interesting thing to note is the ESV has a footnote that the word “for” could be translated as “against”. A continual striving against – sounds like the above article.

Just a footnote: It was sad to see the movie advertised on the site. I’m afraid it will have an opposite effect and actually encourage more of the same.

Here is a news video about the issue of money and marriage:

Money and Marriage  (Notice the interviewed wife’s facial expression when her husband says “I am and I’m not…” when asked if he is OK with her earning more.)


More men get fiscal boost from marriage

Moms as sole breadwinners reach record high



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The Older Feminist Women Today

Have you ever sat and thought about the feminist women, those of the sixties through the eighties, who are getting older?  The ones who rejected marriage or else went through several failed marriages?  They may or may not have children.  Do you know any that fit that description?

One thing I’ve noticed more and more frequently is that there are large amounts of women who are getting past the prime of their life and they are doing so alone. 

  • They do not have a husband to grow old with.

  • They often don’t have children to help care for them.

  • If they do have children many times the children are insecurely attached.  They’ve spent too many years in changing childcare situations to be attached well.

  • The women have to work hard to be able to support themselves on their income so often they work much later in life or for many more hours than others.

  • But the most interesting thing and sad thing is that the women are often so bitter and depressed.  They are still mad at men even though many rejected men years ago.

The older feminist women wanted their freedom and the right to make their own choices without the government, the church, husbands or families having any input.  They have gotten what they wanted, but do they really want that now?  No, now they are lonely and forgotten. 

Now granted some of the women who have large amounts of money are able to buy and pay for all they need.  But the average American woman who accepted the feminist ideology, where does that put her?  She is often barely getting by, worried about her retirement account, afraid of being sick or alone and she’s miserable.

For fear of becoming victims to husbands and tied down with children they have now become their own victims.  Victims to loneliness and depression.  From fear of being badgered by oppressive husbands, they have become badgered by oppressive bosses.

The deeper problem is that the Lord was rejected just as soundly as the men were rejected.  You can’t be a Bride of Christ if you reject the principles of marriage.  While a few feminist have been part of the church, I contend they have distorted their relationship with Christ just as they distorted their relationships with men.  You cannot reject submission in all human forms and still submit to Jesus Christ as Lord.

How can we today minister to these droves of lonely and miserable women who are in need of the Savior and the Bridegroom whom they’ve rejected?



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Feminism and Men

I’m the child of divorce and I remember seeing this phrase on many items around our house as a young child.

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

This has often been attributed to Gloria Steinem but not positively.

However, yesterday when I was reading the book So Much More by Anna Sofia Botkin and Elizabeth Botkin, I enjoyed their analogy to that statement based on the following verses.

1 Corinthians 11:11-12
11 Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman;
12 for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God.
ESV

Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. ESV

So using the feminist reasoning we end up with this.

The Church without Christ is like a fish without a bicycle.

So how could a believer possibly think like this?

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Working Wives Assuaging Their Guilt

Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. ESV

Some food for thought about working wives and their complaining about their husbands. Is a working wife really trying to validate her position and appease her guilt by claiming to be in charge of the house while still working by being critical of her husband’s household work?

‘Useless stay-at-home men’ a female myth

“Housework represents an interesting juxtaposition of control,” said Meisenbach. “On one level, women described retaining control over housework – they talked about their partners contributing to domestic chores but almost always in response to being asked or told to do the task by the wife.

“They all gendered their partners’ behaviour with comments like ‘He’s a man, they don’t see that there is a mess’. And ‘My husband’s a guy. He picks and chooses what chores he does’. But by gendering his behaviour, they were also gendering their own as women and mothers, instead of breadwinners.”

Despite the anxiety that female breadwinners described, Meisenbach also found that most actively relished the control and power that their position gave them at home. “I didn’t find female breadwinners deferred their power to their husbands at all,” she said. “Over 60% said they enjoyed the control they experienced, explicitly noting how they were happily different from the ‘1950s housewife’ or even from female friends within the traditional gender norms. Read the full article.

A typical childish method of dealing with others is bringing others down so that we look better.

Have you met families that the wife complains about how little the husband does around the house yet you seem to think the husband does quite a bit?

Could this really be a way for the wife to assuage the guilt about not being home to run her household?


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Feminism Isn’t About Happiness

It seems feminist are increasingly becoming aware that their goals have made women more unhappy over the past few decades.

Feminism Unfulfilled — Why Are So Many Women Unhappy?

“The woman’s movement wasn’t about happiness.” That judgment, attributed to feminist Susan Faludi, seems to be the blunt assessment shared by many other women. As numerous recent studies now indicate, a remarkably large percentage of women describe themselves as increasingly unhappy.

This issue came to light last month in a fascinating essay by Maureen Dowd of The New York Times. Dowd, whose columns often reveal the nation’s Zeitgeist, cited the fact that a number of major studies indicate that “women are getting gloomier and men are getting happier.” She asked: “Did the feminist revolution end up benefiting men more than women?”

We will always be unhappy when we disregard the Bible and God’s plans for us. Feminism disregards both and elevates women above all others; men, husband, children. It’s focus is on self and not on honoring Christ.

Elliot on the Essence of Femininity

The world looks for happiness through self-assertion. The Christian knows that joy is found in self-abandonment. “If a man will let himself be lost for My sake,” Jesus said, “he will find his true self.” A Christian woman’s true freedom lies on the other side of a very small gate-humble obedience-but that gate leads out into a largeness of life undreamed of by the liberators of the world, to a place where the God-given differentiation between the sexes is not obfuscated but celebrated, where our inequalities are seen as essential to the image of God, for it is in male and female, in male as male and female as female, not as two identical and interchangeable halves, that the image is manifested.

Feminism is not focused on bettering the treatment of women contrary to what many women believe. Feminism’s goal is to not to improve the woman’s lot in life but to allow the woman to be in charge of her life. First the parents have their authority eroded by feminism. Then husband’s had their authority and leadership eroded. But the ultimate goal is to remove all authority over women and their choices. Feminism will not be happy until they think they are totally free of any authority God might have over their life.

Feminism – An “Insidious Distortion”

Feminism asserts that woman’s worth is of such a nature that it gives her the right to discern, judge, and govern that truth herself. It infuses women with the idea that God’s teaching about the role of women must line up with their own perception and definition of equality and/or liberation. Feminism does not present itself as an outright affront to the Bible, but it nevertheless contains an insidious distortion that erodes the authority of Scripture.


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Training our Daughters to be Hypocrites

When I was growing up women and girls were taught that they can and should do anything a man could do. Society had just previously been enslaving women to be servants and “baby machines” while men did what they wanted, but now we women were free.

Yeah, right! Free to be the slaves of an employer instead of serving those we love at home.

The expression used for a woman who choose to stay home with her children was “barefoot and pregnant” and yes that was intended to taint the idea of being a stay at home wife and mother.

Even those women who still desired to be stay at home wives and mothers were strongly encouraged to get a college education and career first, just in case they needed “something to fall back on.”

The Hypocrisy of Feminism (Sorry post no longer exists)

 

When I actually do tell people what I’ll be doing, I feel the awkward silence. If they know me well, they’ll launch into the, “Isn’t that wasting your talent?” Well, is it? Is it wasting my talent if I put it to use efficiently operating a household, working out of love for my husband and children? Is it a waste if I see the efforts of my hard work benefiting those that I love most? Or would it be better if I poured out the best hours of my day for people I don’t know?

I find it especially ironic that the people who shout about how boring, repetitive,and stifling staying at home is, are the same people that would praise the woman who goes to work in an office, confined in a cubicle doing data entry all day. I worked for two summers in an office, and let me tell you the work is REPETITIVE. It’s not just offices either–factory workers, grocery store clerks, bus drivers–you name it, chances are it’s repetitive work. That’s just the way an industrialized society works: we practice division of labor in order to do things more efficiently. The fact that working at home is repetitive says absolutely nothing about its value!

More Femininist Hypocrisy (Sorry post no longer exists)

How come people are extremely skeptical that a mother can teach her five children at home all at once, yet they put all faith in one teacher being able to simultaneously control and educate 30 unrelated and diverse children in the public school system? It is too much of an undertaking for that “poor” mother, yet no one questions the standard classroom size of the public school system?

How come being a nanny is a perfectly fine job for a woman, but being a mother (even though the jobs are basically the same) is not fulfilling and a waste of talent?

I thought of this a few days ago, when a young woman was telling my family how wonderful it was to get to stay home and watch her sister’s children as their nanny. She talked of the peace, calm, and utter joy she had being at home with the little one, and this made me wonder why it’s okay to watch children and enjoy it, as long as it isn’t their own mother.

Very thought provoking!


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