Tag Archive | Parents

Courtship is Like Potty Training …

First the disclaimers …

No, I don’t have anyone courting anyone.

No, I don’t have anyone interested in courting anyone.

No, I’m not trying to push my kids into courting.

No, I don’t have any experience with courting.

So yes this is all in theory.

Now hopefully that will limit the rumors. 😉

Had to get that out of the way for my kids sake.

 

Anyway back to the topic.  Spring has sprung around here and with it came some weddings and wedding showers plus a multitude of other things.  And kittens …  (Anyone want kittens?)  Thus we have had lots of opportunity to discuss the matter and watch how others have proceeded.  Some have been the typical public school and dating process while others have been the homeschooling and courting method.  Guess what? They are equally just as married when everything is said and done.  It is the process that is the interesting part and this has been part of our discussions.

 

Courting Is Like Potty Training

1)      Everyone has an opinion on how it should be done and many are eager to share their opinion.

2)      Sometimes everyone is ready except those who should be.

3)      May involve tears.

4)      May take lots of time or be rather quick.

5)      Many things sound great in theory but do not actually work in practice.

6)      There is no magic age.

7)      Patience is a virtue.

8)      Watch for cues of interest.

9)      Requires physical (fiscal) and emotional readiness.

10)   Although the parent maybe ready, the child may not be ready or maybe the child is ready and not the parent.  Sometimes everyone else but the parent and child are ready.

11)   May be messy.

12)   Pressure from others “Isn’t it about time … ?

13)   You can have read all the books but that doesn’t necessarily help in your particular case.

14)   Sometimes observing others makes things easier.

15)   In the end you often look back and think “Why was that a big deal, it wasn’t that bad?

 

But like I said everything is in theory until you’ve put it into practice. 😉


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You, Your Family and the Internet

You, Your Family and the Internet – free kindle book

How may Christians better understand the dangers and opportunities offered by the Internet? This book resource, written by an expert in the field, explains and illustrates what the technologies are and guides readers to draw on biblical principles (such as self-control and accountability) to help them to apply these to the dangers at hand. It also encourages believers to make the best use of opportunities that arise from judicious use of the World Wide Web.

Today some two billion people around the world use the Internet. Almost 80% of North Americans are connected to the web. But even as we use it, few of us understand the dizzying array of its applications and implications. David Clark guides us through the complexities of the Internet with simple, clear explanations. Even better, he unveils the spiritual implications of the Internet, both positive and negative. Pastors, parents, and teachers will greatly appreciate this book, as will the everyday Christian who, like me, is struggling to keep up with the ever-expanding universe of cyber-space, desiring to use it to God’s glory and the welfare of our families and Christ’s church.

Dr. Joel Beeke, President, Puritan Reformed Theological Seminary, Grand Rapids, Michigan

Much has been written about living as Christians in this digital world; much more will be written in the days and years to come. The unique strength of David Clark’s contribution is in his application of key biblical principles that will guide our use of these technologies and inform our dedication to them.

Tim Challies, Author and Blogger, Ontario, Canada

Limited time free kindle book.


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Churches and Families

This whole article is worth reading whether or not you have children.  Here is just a portion of the article.

View church ministry through ‘family lens,’ conference speakers urge

…  Lance Crowell, an SBTC church ministries associate, shares Ross’s conviction that at least a generation has grown up largely seeing the church ministers as the experts. Crowell said, “One thing has to happen. We have to answer the questions, ‘Are people really growing in the Word, and is that happening in the home? Are students growing up in the Word? Or are parents lost as to what to do to help that?” 

Three resulting ‘disconnects’

More and more vocational staffers and ministry specialists have in many churches led to one type of disconnect—extensive segregation, according to Waylan Owens, dean of the Terry School of Church and Family Ministries at Southwestern Seminary. While Owens agrees that some segregation is useful, he also cautions that dividing all ministries according to age or life situation or preference serves to dishonor parents, dishonor the senior citizens, and dishonor the children and what they can add to the faith experience of adults. 

Speaking to the conference, Owens said, “Many times I go to churches and it seems there is always someone who wants to take my children from me. They take them to Sunday School, then to children’s church. The youth have their own Sunday School, their own worship, and their own Sunday night thing. I have gotten in trouble for wanting to keep my children with me.”

In a breakout session on home-based student ministry, Ken Lasater, Crowell’s colleague at the SBTC whose job title includes student ministry, noted a second disconnect: “Our students are not developing lifelong connections to the church.”

In recent years, research has indicated that between 70-90 percent of churched students leave the church after high school. While LifeWay Research numbers from 2007 indicated a minority of young adults who leave the church eventually return to their faith roots, Lasater said that the most recent statistics indicate that about 90 percent are leaving, not to return.

According to Lasater, their reasons for leaving vary and they seldom go away in anger. Without responsibilities to fulfill at their church or someone expecting them to be there, they stay away, and eventually fade away lacking any deep connection. Lasater said it’s important to note that most of these students are good kids from all socio-economic levels, achieving great things academically, and that their absence is not due to some great rebellion.

“Some have suggested that churches fail to do little more than entertain them, until they are tired of the entertainment. Others suggest that the current church model is entirely wrong, due to not having parents as the singular leadership role for students, and that this has been the sole cause of the falling away of the student population,” Lasater explained.

Another disconnect comes as parents of each successive generation generally become less and less grounded in their beliefs, thus lacking in passion and devotion as well.

Crowell encourages churches to think about how their families would answer these questions: “How equipped do you feel? Do you feel that you can go home and have spiritual conversations? Would your children ask questions that you don’t feel comfortable answering? Parents, are you growing in maturity at home and becoming more like Christ?”

“Muscles that are not used quickly atrophy,” Ross told the TEXAN.

He added, “Parents who depend on the church for the spiritual development of their children tend to atrophy as well. Our churches are packed with parents who are just ‘good ol’ Baptists,’ but are not deeply in love with Christ, do not adore him at the beginning of the day, and who think little about his kingdom purposes as they move through life. That never was God’s plan. When one generation always is focused on spiritually leading the next, both stay more spiritually alive.”  …

Here are a few ways my church is trying to address this issue.

1)  Families worship together.

2)  Children and youth are active participants in the church.  This is not the typical occasional participation in a special service or in a youth group, but every Sunday with the congregation.  Children and youth are encouraged to use their talents by playing hymns or special music.  The young men are encouraged to help with tables and garbage.  The young ladies are encouraged to help with the meal preparation, serving and cleaning.  Sound, projection, website design, bulletins, videoing, etc. can be delegated to the young men.  When they don’t know how to do these things we can be willing to teach them and not worry about perfect services.

3)  The bulletin includes some Baptist Catechism questions and a hymn of the month for families to work thorough with their children at home.  Who knows, parents may learn a thing or two, also, as they help their children.


Is your church losing their youth once they begin to drive or else when they graduate? 

Do the adults stop coming as often once the children are grown?

Do you even notice the trends in your church or denomination?



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Plug Your Favorite Homeschool Curriculum

Since I’ve already mentioned the sale at Alpha Omega Publications I decide to share what curriculum we use.

We have used many workbooks bought from Sam’s, Wal-Mart and book stores.  Comprehensive Curriculum of Basic Skills was a favorite in the younger ages.  We’ve used both individual subject workbooks and combination subject workbooks.

For a couple of years we used Weaver from Alpha Omega Publications.  It is a unit based curriculum which was a totally different style then we had used before.  The children enjoyed the extra activities and the fun things but due to the wide age ranges they didn’t care to all sit together and work on the subject matter as a group.  The faster ones wanted to move on and the slower/younger ones had trouble keeping up.  That style probably works much better if you have children close in age and not too separated in ability.  I decided I’m just really not a good unit study person. 🙁   I have Weaver Volume 1 and Volume 2 plus all the stuff in immaculate condition if someone is interested.  Shipping would be a major issue since this is several large notebooks. 

We’ve used School of Tomorrow Workbooks but my older children preferred the Alpha Omega Publications Lifepacks better.

Throughout highschool we have mostly used the Alpha Omega Publications SOS.  This is computer based but doesn’t require the children to be online.  They work from CD’s or the program can be totally installed so that it doesn’t require CD’s for each subject.  You can network computers such that the curriculum is on one computer and the other computer can work off of it.  This way I can see the school work or even grade it on my laptop while another child is sitting at the main computer doing their school.  Now granted it takes a little computer know how to network and keep it up and running.  But since my Mr. IT works fulltime now I’ve found my 15 year old daughter is able to handle the installation and the computer kinks. Just for some reason moma is clueless. 🙁  

The kids like the instant feedback of knowing what problems are wrong and being able to move on ahead.  Parents still grade written (typed-out) answers and reports.  Plus there is always the occasional misgraded problem or more often mistyped answer that must be dealt with.  Mom likes the reusable curriculum and calculating grades and assigning the workdays so that the curriculum spaces appropriately for the number of school days.

But of course when we get right to the truth of the matter the children learn much more just by being avid readers and by actually living life day-to-day.  The curriculum fills in some gaps and meets the state requirements. 🙂

So what do you use and why?  Feel free to add links to your favorites.


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