What He (or She) Must Be … Abraham vs Lot

In Genesis 19 we are first introduced to Lot’s daughters.  We see that Lot has misplaced priorities and lacks faith in the Lord to protect him and his family in Genesis 19:8 when he offers his daughters to the men of the city.  There is no need to try and validate Lot’s actions and make them seem less heinous than they are.  Lot’s family is obviously lacking in many points that make for a healthy family.

Next we are introduced to his sons-in-laws.

Genesis 19:14 (ESV) So Lot went out and said to his sons-in-law, who were to marry his daughters, “Up! Get out of this place, for the Lord is about to destroy the city.” But he seemed to his sons-in-law to be jesting.

That is the sum of what we know about them beyond the fact that they are destroyed with the city.  Question is why were Lot’s daughters even betrothed to these men?  They obviously lacked faith in the Lord.  They weren’t respectful and honoring to their father-in-law.

If you’ve read Voddie Baucham’s book “What He Must Be…”  you would realize the importance Father’s should place on whom their daughters marry.  Baucham’s book covers areas of faith, character, and responsibility, I wrote about it previously.  This quote is from the book.

“… I cannot give my consent to a man who is not a follower of Christ.”

But that is exactly what Lot did not do.  His sons-in-law made fun of Lot and his God who was going to bring destruction.  But Lot had no choice right?  What else could he do?

Look at what Abraham did.

Genesis 24:1-4 (ESV)

1 Now Abraham was old, well advanced in years. And the Lord had blessed Abraham in all things.
2 And Abraham said to his servant, the oldest of his household, who had charge of all that he had, “Put your hand under my thigh,
3 that I may make you swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and God of the earth, that you will not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell,
4 but will go to my country and to my kindred, and take a wife for my son Isaac.”

Abraham was not going to allow a pagan Canaanite to be the wife of his promised son.  So Abraham sent his servant back to his relatives to seek a wife for Isaac.  There is no doubt that Abraham’s heart was seeking to serve the Lord and do the best he could for Isaac.  The Lord had previously expressed that Abraham would “command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord”. (Genesis 18:19)

There can be no doubt that the Lord did answer the prayers of Abraham and his servant in providing Rebekah for Isaac.

What might have been the difference in Lot’s life and his family if he had done the same as Abraham and sought non-Canaanite husbands for his daughters?

As you see later in the life of Lot, he lost the heart of his daughters.  They did not trust their father to do the best he could for them.  They could not even count on Lot to find them another husband, believer or not, when they were living in the cave.

Like so many righteous men in the Scripture, Lot failed at his parenting and protecting of his children.  That failure has eternal consequences.


5 thoughts on “What He (or She) Must Be … Abraham vs Lot

  1. We really are given a sacred privilege and grave responsibility in raising our children in the ways of the Lord. All good insights here.

    Berean Wife Reply:


    It is a very important responsibility we as parents have been given. Not only are we responsible for helping our children choose a spouse but we should also be helping our children learn to make wise decisions like that themselves. I know when I was growing up choosing a spouse wasn’t something that was taught at home, school or even in the church and yet dating was encouraged. Can’t quite figure that out? It is almost as if dating and marriage weren’t related in any way?

    Berean Wife

  2. Very helpful…thanks B.W.
    Raising children is such a blessing, but it comes with serious responsibility as well. I really believe most parents today do not realize God will hold them accountable for how they raise their kids. When you look around at today’s young people, boy! are we in trouble. Most do not even bother getting married, they just live together.


    Berean Wife Reply:


    I’m afraid most parents today are just bidding their time waiting for their children to become adults so they can release the reins. Almost as if once they are grown we are done and can wash our hands of any possible responsibility. I’ve been pleased with the return of a generational type Christ-centered focus (Baucham, Washer, our pastor) where parents are still very involved in the direction of their family, even down to the second and third generation. We are raising our grandchildren and great grandchildren by what we are teaching our children. That also involves guiding our children in choosing spouses.

    Thankfully, there are a few parents that are beginning to be called back to intentional parenting for training our children in the “way of the Lord.” But it will take a long time to even stem the tide of the direction our families are going. Often that only happens through living in a terrible situation and getting that “wake up call” from the Lord. 🙁

    Berean Wife

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