~Bren~ At Pieces from Me has written a very wise and thoughtful look at her second chance at parenting, this time her adopted children.
Parenting…The Advanced Course
Another change in this round of parenting, is the social scene for our children. We spend time as a family more than when we were raising the boys. Bud was always too busy with baseball, friends, activities, and we encouraged that. This time around those activities are very limited.
Many of us will never have a second round of children to parent like ~Bren~ does. Although some us may have children that stretch out our parenting such that we can learn from our parenting with our oldest and apply that to our youngest children.
Nevertheless, it is so important for us to be willing to learn from our own mistakes and successes. But the Lord has also instructed us to learn from the older women in Titus 2, women such as ~Bren~.
3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good,
4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children,
5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. ESV
However, we seem to be short on Titus 2 women in today’s society. Although I think there are many, many more women willing and qualified to teach the younger women than when I was young. I found very few willing and able to guide and lead a young mom. Even fewer that would base their instructions on the Bible. 🙁 Most of the women then were busy with their careers and most gave the impression, if not actually said, “I’ve served my time, I’m free, I’ll leave it all to the younger women.”
But today there is a resurgence of women staying home and caring for their families by giving up the supposed “glamour and fulfillment” of working away from home. There are even many women who have homeschooled their children for years and garnered much experience both good and bad. When I began my homeschooling journey I knew no homeschooled children or families. I would have loved to have a mom to guide me or let me ask questions.
Since we have graduated our oldest from homeschool I have become that older woman whether I want to or not. However, since we also have a four year old, it isn’t like I will be leaving the homeschool ranks anytime soon.
Older Women Wanted By Mary Pride
The younger women who responded to this call in 1985 found to their distress that few older women were available to serve as mentors and role models. Our parents’ generation had followed the model of a planned family of just a few kids, who were sent to public school. Our own mothers knew nothing about homeschooling; in fact, they were likely to be hostile to the notion. Far from supporting large families, older women in the church were more likely to treat any woman pregnant with her third or fourth child like she was mildly demented. Any women who wanted to stay at home and raise her own kids was automatically treated as a second-class citizen.
But I’m finding a different problem occurring today.
What is that problem?
Young women aren’t interested in having older Titus 2 women to guide and lead them.
Younger women seem to “know” everything and aren’t open to learning from the older Titus 2 women.
Why is that?
Is it an age issue, a cultural issue or just a maturity issue?
I think it is a maturity issue. Why? Because there are some young women who are desiring Titus 2 women to come alongside them, just not the majority of them.
Most of us have noticed the adult 20 – 30’s men who seem to be perpetual adolescents (Adultescents). They are characterized by their toys and video games even when they have a family and children to care for.
Many of today’s young women seem to be in a similar boat. They know everything and nothing can change their minds. Typical of the teenage years when many teens think they know everything and they are invincible to harm.
What happens when your peers are your biggest advisers?
1 Kings 12:6-11
6 Then King Rehoboam took counsel with the old men, who had stood before Solomon his father while he was yet alive, saying, “How do you advise me to answer this people?”
7 And they said to him, “If you will be a servant to this people today and serve them, and speak good words to them when you answer them, then they will be your servants forever.”
8 But he abandoned the counsel that the old men gave him and took counsel with the young men who had grown up with him and stood before him.
9 And he said to them, “What do you advise that we answer this people who have said to me, ‘Lighten the yoke that your father put on us’?”
10 And the young men who had grown up with him said to him, “Thus shall you speak to this people who said to you, ‘Your father made our yoke heavy, but you lighten it for us,’ thus shall you say to them, ‘My little finger is thicker than my father’s thighs.
11 And now, whereas my father laid on you a heavy yoke, I will add to your yoke. My father disciplined you with whips, but I will discipline you with scorpions.'” ESV
Read the rest of the passage to see what happened by following his peers advice.
Apollos exhibited a teachable spirit:
Acts 18:26 He began to speak boldly in the synagogue, but when Priscilla and Aquila heard him, they took him and explained to him the way of God more accurately. ESV
Wisdom is learning from others.
Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. ESV
7 Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse, and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury.
8 Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you.
9 Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning. ESV
Treasure wisdom and instruction everywhere you can but always remember to be Berean and compare it to the Scriptures.
Acts 17:11 “Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.” NIV
It just might save you alot of heartache later on.
So if you are the older Titus 2 woman be willing to teach the younger women to love their husbands and children and to serve the Lord so that the Word of God will not be blasphemed. Even in the face of rejection and scorn we should be obedient to God’s Word and His instructions. There is always someone younger than you that can benefit from Godly wisdom. Just make sure it is Godly wisdom and not worldly wisdom.
If you are the younger women (which we usually are younger than some) be willing to be taught by those older and wiser than yourself. You may save yourself much heartache in the long haul but most importantly you will be obedient to the Lord. Check all advice according to Scripture, you will learn no matter how bad the advice might could be, if you will go to God’s Word to see if the advice is true or not.
What Is Your Response to a Rebuke?
Silly, Weak Willed Women Swayed by Strangers